


Best thighs 2012

by mistressterably



Category: The Thick of It (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-12
Updated: 2015-11-12
Packaged: 2018-05-01 06:27:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5195588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mistressterably/pseuds/mistressterably
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thursday installment inspired by the Peter Capaldi calendar keeper @misswinterseat</p><p>This time the wonder of Malcolm's thighs are formally appreciated by the ladies at number 10.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Best thighs 2012

Sam sat in the conference room with the gathered PA’s and receptionists that were all employed at number 10. It was one of their regular monthly gatherings to have coffee and discuss any upcoming social gatherings. It was coming up on the New Year and they were all busy planning for the Holiday Gala and the coming break. One thing that had become traditional was for the ladies to have a vote regarding the Ministers and other staff. In past years there had been winners for Best Laugh, Cutest Tush, Weirdest Habit and Worst Haircut. This year they had collectively agreed to vote for the Best Thighs. Today they all agreed on the top 3 men that they would vote on in two weeks time. Sam had lobbied hard and smiled when Malcolm was included in the final vote. 

Throughout the next two weeks, Sam talked up Malcolm’s thighs with the other ladies whenever she could. Most of the other ladies played along. It was no secret to any of them that Sam had a mild crush on Malcolm. Not that she would ever dare cross the line and act on it, he was her boss after all. 

When the day came for the vote, Sam was slightly nervous that Malcolm wouldn’t get enough votes. As the tally was taken, Sam began to grin as Malcolm pulled ahead and at the end had won the vote with a comfortable five vote lead. The First Lady of the PA’s Society declared Malcolm Tucker the winner of the Best Thighs award. Sam clapped happily to the jeers and laughs of her co-workers. It was agreed by everyone that Sam would get the honor (and the embarrassment) of presenting Malcolm with the Award (a printed certificate) and a cake. She was required to take a photo of the moment for it to be included in the annual newsletter. 

That Friday, Sam picked up the cake on her lunch and hid it in her desk until mid-afternoon. With her camera ready and the Award in hand, Sam collected the cake and walked into Malcolm’s office. ‘Afternoon, Malcolm. I’ve got a surprise for you.’ 

Malcolm looked up from his work at Sam’s words. ‘Surprise? What the fuck are you talking about, Sam?’ 

‘Congratulations are in order, Malcolm.’ Sam smiled, a slight flush in her cheeks. She placed the cake on his desk in front of him. She handed him the Award and then, while he looked puzzled at the award, Sam took a few photos. It took all of her will to not start laughing at the look on his face. 

‘What in the fucking hell is this? Best Thighs of Number 10?’ He furrowed his brows and looked at Sam only to be caught on camera scowling in his confusion. ‘Sam? Why are you fucking take pictures?’

‘I told you. Congratulations on being voted the Best Thighs for the year.’ Sam really did try to keep a straight face but her lips were quivering from her fight.   
‘Where the fuck did this come from? Stop with the camera, Sam!’ Malcolm snarled. 

‘You should be honored. All the ladies in the office chose you as the winner.’ 

‘Best thighs? What the fuck are you on about?’ 

‘The majority of the ladies think you have the best thighs out of all the men in the office. We even got you a cake so you celebrate the honor appropriately.’ 

‘You are fucking kidding me!’ Malcolm put the award down and lifted the top off the cake box. ‘SAM! YOU ARE DEAD! YOU GAVE THEM THAT PHOTO!’

The cake was decorated with the phrase ‘Mighty Fine Thighs!’ along with an edible photo of him in only a speedo that he knew Sam had snapped on the one occasion they had been attending a conference with the Party on the coast in the summer and the day after the conference had ending, he had allowed himself to be talked into a bit of sunbathing and a dip in the sea before they were due to fly back to London. He had been in a good mood so he hadn’t made a major fuss about her taking the photo. 

Sam took one last photo and then admired the job that had been done on the cake. ‘That’s a very impressive…’

‘Oh, do go on Sam.’ Malcolm warned her.

‘Cake…’ Sam couldn’t hold back anymore and began laughing. ‘Oh Malcolm! The look on your face!’

‘Sam..’ Malcolm turned on her, a warning finger wagging at her. ‘You are going to pay for this.’

‘Can I have a piece of your thighs?’ Sam really couldn’t help herself. 

‘You.. I ought to.. ‘ Malcolm just looked at her, shaking his head. ‘I will make you pay.’

‘I’m sure you will, Malcolm. But the pictures will make a great end of year center spread in the ladies’ newsletter.’ She began to laugh at the thought of Malcolm as a center spread. Malcolm was giving her a puzzled look until she repeated the word spread again between her laughs.

‘For that you don’t get any piece of my thighs at all!’ Malcolm growled and put the top back on the cake box. 

‘Well, I do still have the original photo…’ Sam teased him. 

‘And a copy is going to be seen by all of the ladies in the office now isn’t it?’ 

‘Oh, I’d say so.’ Sam laughed some more. ‘Sorry, Malcolm. Forgive me for a bit of fun?’

Malcolm sighed but really couldn’t stay mad at her. ‘I’ll just get you back one day. I do remember these things.’

‘I’m sure you will.’ 

‘Come here.’ He held open his arms and engulfed her in a hug. ‘Next year, how about I nominate you for Best PA?’ Sam looked at him and then blushed. ‘Got you!’ Sam smacked him in the arm. ‘Care to take a chunk out of my thigh now?’ Malcolm laughed and was soon sharing his cake with Sam.


End file.
